Dream a Little Dream of Me
by awesomesauce101
Summary: While on a hunt with Sam and Dean, Castiel is put under a djinn's spell and dreams up a world where he and Dean are together and demons, angels, and all things supernatural do not exist. When he wakes up, he finds himself missing that imaginary world.
1. Chapter 1

**So it's me again and I've been working on this for a while. Of course, my weird OCDness prevents me from posting this before it is finished, so I can edit and proofread and whatnot. (Beta readers? Ha what's that? XD Really though, I would rather just do it myself.)**

**Alas, I digress, hopefully you like this. Doesn't really have anything to do with the current plot of the show, other than that I guess it kinda takes place after season 8, cause Cas is human and all. And also, Sam doesn't almost die from the trials, so there's that too and I included Kevin and Charlie in like the last chapter, but that's all. No Crowley or Ezekiel and stuff, so don't worry about spoilers.**

**Anyways, on with the story! Allons-y! (Less than two weeks until the 50****th**** of DW YAY!)**

* * *

The one unpleasant thing about being human would probably have to be being so fragile, Castiel decides. Pain wasn't entirely a new sensation to him of course, but it had never been so intense before. Getting thrown against a wall by a djinn is definitely painful and it knocks all the breath out of him. As his vision starts to go dark and he curses himself for being so weak, he sees Sam and Dean out cold on the floor. He wants to go to them, try to find a way to help, but he's helplessly dangling in the vice-like grip of the monster before him. In one moment, eyes flash blue and tattoos swirl up the arm gripping him. He can feel the poison working through his system and while he tries to fight it, Castiel eventually succumbs to unconsciousness.

* * *

When he next wakes up, he knows something's off. What exactly is off, he's not entirely sure of, but there's just this gut feeling that there's something wrong with this situation. He gets out of bed and stretches, flashes of dreams coming back to him in the form of bright blue glowing and an unsettling feeling of helplessness. It feels familiar somehow, but for the moment, he shakes it off.

The sun shines into the room through the blinds and when he glances at the clock, he sees that it's well past ten in the morning. Just as he finishes getting dressed, there's a knock at the door. Dean pokes his head in and smiles when he sees Castiel. For some inexplicable reason, this makes his heart beat faster and a smile blooms on his face of its own accord.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty. I was just wondering if you were ever going to get up and join the land of the living," Dean says.

"Ha ha, very funny Dean," he remarks sarcastically.

Dean walks in and leans down to plant a kiss on Castiel's forehead. For a moment, he's confused about why Dean would show such affection, but his concentration is broken when Dean starts talking again.

"So, you missed breakfast, but I'm sure I could whip something up for you," he's saying.

"Uh, sure, that would be nice," Castiel replies.

He follows Dean into the kitchen and when he attempts to assist him with the cooking, the other man chuckles and directs him to the table.

"Dude, I love you and I know you want to help, but do you remember what happened last time?" he says, trying his hardest not to laugh.

And the answer, for some reason, is no. Castiel doesn't remember what happened last time. In fact, he doesn't even remember last night, or the night before. He doesn't even remember why he and Dean are living in the same house together. But Castiel doesn't say this and instead he plays along and acts like he does.

Later, after eating and cleaning up, he finally asks one question that's been bothering him for a while.

"Where's Sam?"

Dean gives him a strange look, like Castiel has sprouted another head.

"At Stanford? Like he's always been?"

"Oh,"

"Cas, we just saw him like a week ago when he came to visit. Remember?"

"Yes, I guess I just forgot," he says and it's a weak excuse, but Dean seems to buy it, so he doesn't push things.

"Alright, I gotta go to work before I'm late. Again," Dean says after a while.

"Of course,"

Dean leaves the room and when he comes back, he's dressed in a suit and tie. Castiel almost wants to ask where he works, because again, he can't remember, but he doesn't because that would just warrant more strange looks and unanswerable questions.

"See you in a couple of hours, angel," Dean says.

He leans in and kisses Castiel full on the lips for just a second before departing. After Dean leaves, he just sits there, head spinning and trying to figure out why he's so confused. Eventually however, Castiel heads into what he assumes is their living room. He gazes at pictures, older pictures, of him and Dean together. Some of them even have Sam in them and Castiel is shocked to see Ruby standing by his side. He finds an old card from a while ago in a desk drawer that reads 'Happy Anniversary!' and this confuses him even more. When had they gotten together? Were they married or was it just commemorating the date they became a couple? Why was Sam at Stanford and why was Ruby still alive? He knows that he should know the answers to these questions, but for some reason he just can't remember.

He thinks about calling someone, obviously not Dean, and trying to figure out more about this life that he can barely recall himself. He rifles through their things, ignoring the fact that he should know where these things are anyway, and finds an address book. He looks at the names and figures that calling his brother, who apparently is alive in this life as well, may not be the worst idea ever.

"Cassie is that you?" Gabriel answers gleefully, not even bothering with a hello. Typical.

"Gabriel. How are you?" Castiel replies.

"Fine I guess? What's the dealio, bro? You gotta have a reason for calling me,"

"I just had some questions I was hoping you could answer,"

"Shoot,"

"Uh, these questions might seem odd, but just humor me, okay?"

"Sure, whatever,"

"How long have Dean and I been, you know, together?"

"Tired of him already, Cassie?"

Castiel sighs and decides that, okay, maybe calling his brother actually was the worst idea ever.

"Gabriel,"

"Oh fine. Five years,"

"Five?"

"Uh, yeah? You sound surprised. He can't be that bad, can he?"

"No, I just wanted to know. Also, do you know the demon Ruby?"

"Wow little bro, I know you don't like her, but demon's a little harsh isn't it?" Gabriel says, chuckling on the other line.

"I just don't think she's good for Sam. But that's beside the point. There's something off about all of this,"

"This?"

"Everything. This life, my life with Dean, I can't remember any of the past five years in this world. I remember the strangest things, like being an angel of the Lord and fighting demons. I remember fighting all these supernatural things with Sam and Dean. But in this place, it's like none of that happened! The end of days didn't happen, I didn't become God and practically destroy Heaven, Dean and I are together, Sam is at college and Ruby is alive and not a demon. And you're alive too!"

"Uh, yeah, obviously. Um, Cassie, are you hungover? Or high? Because you just spouted some totally crazy nonsense, dude. And whatever drugs you're on, I would totally love if you could hook me up,"

"I'm being serious Gabriel! I don't remember anything!" Castiel exclaims, growing more frustrated, confused, and worried by the second.

"Okay, jeez, don't get your panties in a bunch! Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"No, just you,"

"Well good, since you would've sounded like a crazy person to anyone else. Hell, you still sound crazy, even to me,"

_Cas!_

"What?"

"What?" Gabriel says, sounding even more confused by his brother's odd behavior.

"Why did you call me?"

"Uh, I didn't,"

"I know I heard someone call my name,"

"Dean maybe?"

"He's gone,"

"Well then you've probably just lost your marbles Cassie. Hang on a sec. Huh? Oh, sorry bro, gotta go for now. Uh, for your whole delusional thing, I'd suggest you see a shrink or something. I don't know. Whatever works. Adios,"

The phone clicks and Castiel hangs up, sighing. This had gotten him nowhere. All it had succeeded in was getting his not-dead brother to think he had lost his mind. Which, maybe he has.

His head jerks up when he hears someone call his name again. He swears that it sounds like Dean and for just a split second he feels pain and cold and sees nothing but darkness. Then things snap back to how they were before, leaving phantom pains tingling throughout his body and his eyes adjusting to the lights in the living room.

He takes a shaky breath and attempts to stand, grabbing onto the table when his knees almost give out. _What's happening to me?_ he wonders.

There isn't much to do until Dean gets back. As far as he can tell, he doesn't have a job or anything. He watches TV and cleans up their home, but mainly he just goes through old photo albums of the two of them. He feels that weird warm feeling he got when Dean had kissed him. In the photos, Dean is mostly not even looking at the camera. Instead he's directing that brilliant smile at Castiel who actually is looking where he's supposed to. In other photos, neither of them are even paying any attention to whether there's a camera. They're either hugging or kissing or just plain smiling at each other. And for the first time since he woke up this morning, Castiel wants to remember this life. He doesn't care about whatever strange things are happening to him. He wants to remember being happy with who is quite obviously the love of his life and he wants to remember all the silly things they did together that actually got them together in the first place.

When Dean finally returns, Castiel greets him at the door with a hug and an enthusiastic kiss. While the other man has no problem with this, he still pulls back and gives Castiel an odd look.

"While I do appreciate your uh, warm welcome, is everything good, angel?"

"Yes. More than good. Very good, in fact. I just…really love you," Castiel says, mentally scolding himself for how spectacularly he failed at finishing that sentence with something not 'chick flick'-y as Dean would say.

But Dean definitely doesn't protest the statement. He smile brightly and his green eyes shine just a bit.

"Good, cause I love you too, Cas," he replies.

A goofy smile spreads across Castiel's face and he can't seem to stop it. Dean smiles back and pulls Castiel closer, resting their foreheads together and it feels like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, but it's a pleasant feeling.

"You, Castiel Novak, are the most amazing and adorable man I have ever met. How did I get so lucky to end up with someone like you?"

Castiel figures that this is one of those rhetorical questions you don't actually have to answer. Not with words at least. He closes the distance between them and presses their lips together, feeling like he's flying with the way Dean is kissing him back so lovingly.

That persistent voice that keeps calling him is back again but Castiel can't find it in himself to acknowledge it when he's so deeply absorbed in what he's already doing.

One of Dean's hands comes up to cup his cheek and Castiel manages to get one of his hands up into the other's hair, loving how soft it feels against his fingers.

"Dean," he sighs against his lover's lips.

Dean pulls back and just smiles at Castiel, green eyes so full of love that it takes his breath away. And suddenly, he doesn't care about this weird other life that he remembers. All that matters is the here and now. He only cares about that delightfully warm feeling he gets when Dean tells him that he loves him and the way it spreads through his whole being when they touch.

He lets Dean take him to bed and while his mind not remember what it was like last time, his body certainly does. It's after they've cleaned up and are snuggled together under the covers that Castiel realizes how much he loves Dean. He hadn't known it before, in that other place where they were always fighting just to live another day, but in this calmer and safer world, it's blatantly obvious to him. He thinks about all those times that he almost lost, and sometimes did lose, Dean and he never wants to go through that feeling again. So he tightens his grip where his arm is wrapped around Dean and rests his head on his lover's chest, taking comfort in the sound of a heart beating steadily underneath.

* * *

**So, there you go! Like? Hate? Okay? Thanks for reading either way :D **

**And no, I cannot write smut. Like seriously, I don't know how some of you do it (I commend you for it though and applaud you *applause*). So use your imagination. XD **

**It was kind of fun to write Gabriel in there, I wish they'd bring him back to the show already :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I think I might switch POVs each chapter, just to show what's happening on both sides, if you will. So this time it's from Dean's POV in the real world. Again thanks for reading and everything! :D**

* * *

Dean groans as he regains consciousness, everything aching when he tries to sit up and gain his bearings. He sees Sam waking up slowly as well and he goes over to his brother to make sure he's okay. The second thing he notices is that the djinn is nowhere to be seen. It could be hiding, waiting to strike again, or it could just be gone. Either way, it's bad news. Cas is gone too and after making sure that nothing's broken, he gets up and explores the old abandoned warehouse that they'd tracked the djinn to.

He keeps calling Cas' name but every time he gets no response and after combing the place twice over, once with Sam's help, there's no sign of either the djinn or the ex-angel anywhere.

"Dammit Cas," he mutters under his breath.

It's not that he's angry at his friend, but this is the second time he's lost him since he became human and he blames himself for not keeping an eye out for him.

He runs a hand through his hair, trying to figure something out. It's obvious that the djinn has relocated elsewhere and taken Cas with him. The only problem is he has no idea where they could have gone. Sam figures they've been out for a only a few hours and spouts off some mathematical thing he probably learned at Stanford on how far the djinn could have gone in that amount of time.

There isn't much they can do here, so they head back to the motel they were staying at and consult a map of the city. Sam marks the place that the warehouse is and draws a circle, calculating how many miles out the djinn could have gone. Even though they've narrowed the area down a bit more, they still have a lot of ground to search. With this town's economy in the state that it is, there's too many abandoned buildings to search in the course of one day. Sam suggests splitting up so they can cover more ground, but this particular djinn was stronger than other ones they'd faced. Dean didn't want it to take his brother too if he wasn't there to stop it.

As time dwindles on and they search and search each deserted building from top to bottom, Cas' life force is slowly being drained away and Dean can't stop thinking about what happens if they're too late. Sam keeps telling him that it's not his fault, but Dean doesn't believe it, not for one second.

The thing is, there's only so many hours in a day and when you take into account eating and sleeping, that's even less. When it's half an hour after one in the morning, they have to take a break. Dean is too anxious to even sleep and he spends a lot of time staring at that map, trying to figure out where on earth they could have gone. After tiring of his brother's behavior, Sam manages to convince him to get a few hours of sleep and promises that they'll start searching again first thing tomorrow.

The next day they spend half their time searching old buildings and the other half asking around to see if anyone has been seen sporting too many tattoos on their arms. They eventually come across someone who could possibly help. Apparently, the local library has a new employee working there who sometimes comes to work with all their tattoos showing. The manager complains about how they distract the guests and that it's against their policy to have them showing, so when Sam and Dean ask for a picture, the man happily complies.

The person in the picture is definitely the djinn. Who would have thought that monsters had day jobs? But the two check out the address listed and aren't surprised to find a vacant lot. Apparently the library doesn't look into their employees' information very well. Nonetheless, they search the surrounding areas for any sign of the djinn, whose name is apparently 'Jake', or Cas. They don't find anywhere that would be suitable for a djinn to hide people, that is, until they stumble upon an old underground tunnel system that hasn't been used in fifty years. Problem is, the system is vast and not to mention unstable. When they go down to explore, parts of the walls have caved in and passageways have been blocked off.

Dean is half afraid that the whole thing is going to fall down on them, but he presses on, ignoring the almost claustrophobic feeling in order to find his friend. And after what seems like miles and miles of tunnel, they come across a big open room with various people dangling from the walls by their arms, which is another problem solved, since the only reason they came here in the first place was the sudden influx of disappearances.

"Looks like we hit the jackpot," Dean remarks.

"Yeah, no kidding. Let's get these people down," Sam replies.

They manage to free about half the people. Sam escorts them out, comforting the panicked ones and promising that things will be okay. The other half seem to be the first ones taken and most of them are already dead, others too far gone to save. Dean maneuvers his way through the maze of people, nearly sighing in relief when he spots Cas amongst them.

The fallen angel isn't too badly bruised, but Dean knows he has to free him before it's too late. He gets Cas down and stumbles when he has to take all of the other's weight. Cas is still out cold and doesn't look so hot. He's pale, too pale, and Dean has to wake him up before the poison can work its way through Cas' body and kill him.

"Cas!" he shouts, shaking his friend vigorously.

He gets no response and he tries again, this time slapping Cas across the face in an attempt to rouse him. But there's still nothing and he's running out of time and he'll have failed his friend again. He shouts Cas' name again, tries praying to him even though Cas isn't an angel anymore, but nothing seems to work.

"Sorry, I don't think he's waking up any time soon," someone says.

Dean looks up to see 'Jake' standing against the far wall. The djinn smiles deviously at him and doesn't even look worried when Dean pulls out the knife covered in lamb's blood.

"You know, your friend was the most enticing out of all the rest of them. All those wishes and hopes that he keeps locked away inside himself, I've seen them all. I've given him exactly what he wants. Do you think he actually wants to wake up from that life?" the djinn says.

"Of course he'll wake up. He always finds a way back to us. I'm just helping him along by killing you,"

"Sure. Knock yourself out. Killing me won't do anything if he wants to stay there,"

"You're bluffing,"

"Am I?"

Dean casts a glance at Cas, still dying on the ground. He thinks about losing his friend and that's all it takes to motivate him to finish off the djinn. It's a little unsettling how easy it is and as he plunges the knife into the monster's heart, it just smiles at him. The body slumps to the ground and Dean drops the knife, heading back to Cas and waiting for him to wake up already.

"C'mon, wake up already, Cas," he mutters.

Minutes pass without any indication that Cas is back and Dean's blood runs cold as he considers the fact that the djinn was telling the truth. Could whatever world Cas was living in inside his head really be more appealing than reality? Well, probably, Dean thinks, since this world isn't exactly the best place to live in. Nonetheless, he still wishes that Cas would wake up already and stare up at him confusedly with those ridiculous blue eyes, wondering what he missed.

"Dean, are you okay?" he hears Sam calling.

His brother enters the room wielding his own knife, but when he spies the other two on the ground he puts it away and goes to help.

"Is he still not waking up?"

Dean shakes his head, hating how helpless he is in this situation.

"You killed the djinn?"

"Of course I did," Dean answers irritably.

"There was only one?"

"Pretty sure, yeah,"

"Okay, uh, there's gotta be something we can do,"

The room is silent as the two of them try to think of a plan. Eventually they decide on doing the same thing they did with Charlie and Sam heads back out to the Impala to get the ingredients so Dean can go rescue Cas in the dream world.

"Bottoms up," Sam says, handing his brother the concoction.

Dean drinks it, grimacing at the taste and handing the glass back before promptly falling asleep. While the other two sleep, Sam starts to clear out the rest of the bodies that the djinn had taken, since he thinks they at least deserve a proper burial.

* * *

Dean had figured that Cas' deepest desire would be to return to Heaven. He expected to see Cas living happily amongst all his brothers and sisters and that maybe he'd even see God, but there's no such thing waiting for him when he wakes up in the dream. Instead, he's in some random house, standing in someone's living room. The sky outside is dark, so it must be night and whoever occupies this house must be asleep. He thinks that maybe this actually is Heaven and Cas is exploring someone's personal Heaven, but he gets confused when he sees pictures of himself and Cas hanging on the wall. Out of all the things he was expecting the fallen angel to wish for, this was not one of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You know, Microsoft Word always makes everything seem longer than it actually is. Anyways, on with the story! Hope you've been liking it so far! :D**

* * *

Castiel's favorite thing is most likely waking up in the morning with Dean. He always feels warm and safe here. Maybe it has something to do with the body he's cuddled up against or the blankets covering them, but all he knows is that he enjoys it. He opens his eyes and smiles when he sees Dean still asleep across from him on the bed. He looks so peaceful when he's asleep and Castiel takes the time to admire all of Dean's handsome features.

Eventually though, an alarm goes off, making him jump and Dean grumble in his sleep as he tries to reach over Castiel and hit the snooze button.

"Good morning, Dean," Castiel says once Dean has had a chance to wake up more.

"Morning, angel," Dean replies with a yawn.

"I'm not an angel anymore Dean. I don't know why you insist on calling me that," Castiel says, momentarily forgetting that angels don't exist here anyway.

Dean gives him an odd look, but then he chuckles a little bit.

"I don't know where you got that idea. You've always been my angel, Cas," he says affectionately.

Castiel smiles at that and, just because he can now, leans in and steals a quick kiss. Dean laughs softly against his lips and brings his arms up to embrace Castiel. He decides that Dean's laugh is probably one of his favorite sounds and his smile grows wider as he thinks about how he's going to be able to hear it a lot more often now.

"Damn, you've got like the cutest smile ever, Cas," Dean comments.

He feels himself blush at the compliment and is about to reply with the fact that Dean's smile is a lot brighter, when they hear a crash and swearing downstairs. The smile vanishes immediately and suddenly Dean has gone from goofy, affectionate lover to a fighter protecting what's his. He reaches into the table by the bed and takes out the gun that he keeps there.

"Stay here," he says, getting out of the bed.

"Dean, don't," Castiel whispers.

He doesn't listen however and Castiel follows him despite the instruction otherwise.

"Dammit Cas, I don't want you getting hurt. I told you to stay back,"

"And I don't want you getting hurt either, so I'm coming with you,"

Dean sighs, because he knows he won't win this argument and instructs Castiel to stay behind him.

They descend the stairs slowly, freezing every time a floorboard creaks, not wanting to alert the intruder to their presence. Finally, they reach the bottom. The sounds are coming from the living room and they head down the hallway, stopping at the opening to the other room. The intruder's back is to them and he's crouched down going through their things. It looks like a standard robbery and Dean steps around the corner, gun aimed at the other person. Castiel follows him, ignoring that unsettling feeling that he knows whoever this burglar is.

"Hands where I can see them," Dean says.

The intruder freezes and when he starts to talk, the sound turns Castiel very pale.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he says.

He turns around and there's no doubt about it. Their intruder is one Dean Winchester.

"What the hell?" the two say at the same time.

"What? How? You're me!" the Dean standing next to Castiel says.

"I could say the same about you," the other one mutters. He looks at Castiel and his eyes light up.

"Cas! Thank god, you gotta wake up man. You're dying," he says and steps closer.

"What do you think you're doing? I don't care if you're me or whatever the hell you are, don't touch him,"

"Cas, look, that djinn's got you under his power. I killed it, but I can't stop you from dying if you don't wake up,"

"I don't understand," Castiel says, looking from one to the other.

"This world, all of it, isn't real. He's not real, you're life isn't real. It's just something the djinn cooked up for you so you wouldn't struggle when he fed from you,"

"Don't listen to him, angel. He's nuts. I don't even know what a djinn is,"

"C'mon Cas, he's not even a hunter. I know you know I'm telling the truth, just come back with me, okay? Sam can't wait forever,"

Castiel's head aches and he just wants it to stop. He doesn't know why, but there's something in him that makes him want to believe this other Dean that has suddenly dropped into his life from somewhere unreal. He'd always wondered why he could remember fighting demons and yet not remember how long he's been with the Dean that he knows in this life. And then he remembers that voice from so long ago that had called to him from nowhere.

"Was that you? Calling for me before? I could hear you," he says.

"Yeah, that was me,"

"What's he talking about?" his lover asks. Castiel looks at his Dean and realizes that he doesn't look confused or worried or angry. In fact, he just looks sad. As if he knows that his other self is telling the truth and is delaying the inevitable. And now that the doubt is planted in his mind, everything around them starts to shimmer, the same way the air does when it's too hot outside.

"What's happening?" Castiel asks, glancing around at his surroundings that seem to be fading every second.

"It's time for you to wake up, angel," his Dean says.

"But…I don't want to leave you,"

"And I don't want you to go. But he's right, you're dying and I definitely don't want that, even if it means you leaving me,"

"I love you," Castiel says, hating how attached he's grown to this hallucination, how he has to leave this perfect life he has.

"I know,"

Castiel leans up to kiss Dean one last time and when he tries to hang on, his lover pries his fingers away from his shirt.

"Hey, it'll be alright. Promise," he says. Castiel nods and lets go, watching as everything blurs and eventually fades into darkness.

* * *

He wakes up gasping for air and wincing when he sits up too quickly. Sam is there by his side, patting his back and asking if he's okay. He nods through his coughing and out of the corner of his eye, sees Dean sit up next to him. Once Sam is assure that Castiel isn't hurt, he tends to his brother, who shakes him off with an 'I'm fine'.

"Jeez, you guys took so long I was starting to think I'd have to go in there and rescue the both of you," Sam jokes.

"Yeah whatever Sammy. I totally had it under control," Dean retorts half-heartedly.

The three of them get up and head towards the exit. The tunnels wind every which way and Castiel has no idea where they're going, so he follows behind the other two quietly. He stares at the back of Dean's head, wondering what the hunter is thinking. Part of him wants to hate him, for intruding in his mind and for dragging him away from the life he's wanted for who knows how long, but he can't because as always, Dean saved his life and he's grateful for that.

Eventually, after the third dead end, Sam proposes they split up. Castiel expects Dean to demand they stick together, but he concedes fairly easily. Sam heads off on his own and turns down a corner. He starts to go his own way, but Dean stops him with a hand on his arm.

"Cas, wait. Can we talk?" he says.

"Of course Dean," Castiel replies, even though the rest of him is begging for Dean not have this conversation.

"Is that, what I saw, I mean, is that really what you wanted? A life with me, you know, together?"

Castiel glances away uncomfortably. He doesn't want to answer questions about his deepest desires and he hates how vulnerable he feels, knowing that Dean knows how much love Castiel has for him and that the hunter will never love him back quite the same. He finds himself missing that dream life. He misses waking up in the mornings and feeling safe and warm and happy for the first time since the angels fell.

"I don't know," he replies, even though that's a lie and Dean seems to know it too.

"Look, I can't give you what he gave you, you know, an apple pie life. Just isn't for me, not with this line of work. I can't afford to be close to someone like that. It's bad enough that Sam's my weak spot,"

"I know," Castiel says and hates how his voice breaks on just two little words.

"Cas, hey, I'm sorry, okay?" Dean says softly, even though there's nothing for him to be sorry for. It's logical after all, what he said about not being able to be close to someone like that.

"Yeah," Castiel replies.

He retreats down a corridor, ignoring Dean's shouts for him to come back, because he can't face the hunter. Not now when it feels like he's going to break down at any moment. He loses Dean in all the intricate twists and turns and when he's sure that he's alone, he sags against the wall, fingernails digging into his palms and trying to keep it together.

"So foolish," he mutters to himself.

"Cas! Where are you?" Dean's voice echoes down the halls.

He doesn't respond and he wishes that Dean would just stop talking because it just reminds him of the other version of him in his dreams where he called him angel and told him how much he loved him. It's those memories that finally cause him to break down. He slides to the ground and buries his face in his hands, feeling hot tears sliding down his face. He tries not to make a sound but he can't seem to help the sobs escaping him. And this is something else that he sometimes hates about being human. All these new emotions that he hasn't had to deal with before are hitting him with full force and he doesn't know how to handle it.

He hears footsteps and he didn't want Dean to find him so fast. How pitiful he must look, hunched in on himself crying over something that never happened.

"Cas?" says a voice that is definitely not Dean's.

Sam comes closer and kneels down next to him, hand resting hesitantly on his back in an effort to comfort him.

"Uh, is everything okay? Wow, that was a stupid question. Is there, uh, anything I can do?" he asks.

"I'm fine," Castiel replies, voice wrecked from crying.

"Don't sound fine,"

Castiel wipes at his eyes, wishing that the tears would stop already so he doesn't seem so weak.

"I'm fine," he repeats. "Let's just go,"

"You sure?"

"Yes, please Sam,"

Sam sighs but eventually leads Castiel out to the exit. Dean's already there and when he sees Castiel, he looks even more guilty than usual.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Not really no," Sam says at the same time Castiel replies with an 'I'm okay'.

Dean opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but when no words come, he closes it, looking anywhere but at Castiel. He motions for them to follow and they head back up out of the tunnels and into the daylight. Castiel shields his eyes against the light and follows the two brothers to the Impala waiting in a nearby lot.

"Man, I've missed you, baby," Dean says, trying to revert back to his usual joking self. Sam plays along by rolling his eyes and muttering something about the car as they climb into it and drive off. Castiel is sitting in the back seat, gazing out the window staring at nothing in particular and misses the concerned look Dean gives him in the rearview mirror.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is a really long chapter, but I feel like half of it is dialogue XD Anyways, we're nearing the end my pretties! If you've stuck this long then I thank you! Love you all lots 3**

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Once they arrive at the Men of Letters bunker, Dean is more than happy to just go to bed and get some sleep. Sam however isn't having it. He demands his brother stay up so they can talk once Cas has gone to sleep.

"Okay, I stayed up like you wanted. What?" Dean says.

"You know exactly what Dean," Sam says, giving him that look that reminds him of a disapproving mother. He chuckles a bit at that image before Sam interrupts.

"Dean, would you be serious for once? Can't you see what's happening to Cas?"

"Eh, he'll be fine after some sleep and all the bad mojo's outta his system," Dean replies, wishing that was the case.

"I don't think so. Dean, what happened? I mean after you rescued him, you guys seemed kinda tense. But then I end up finding Cas down there crying his eyes out,"

And okay, Sam totally did not need to play that card. Because he knew, somewhat, he just didn't want to believe that it had been him who made his friend cry.

"Okay, look, I went in there to rescue him and you know how some djinns make it look like you got your wish granted or whatever it is?"

"Yeah. And?"

"Well, Cas…he was with me,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, his dream life was living with me, together,"

"Like _together_ together?"

"Yeah,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah. And I told him that I couldn't be that person for him, you know. I mean, you can't get too close to anyone in this life,"

"You're close to me,"

"That's different,"

Sam rolls his eyes and sighs, in Dean's opinion, overdramatically. "God, you're an idiot,"

"What! Why?"

"Cas could have wished for anything Dean. He could've got his grace back or been up in Heaven again, but instead he wished to have a life with you. And I get it, you can't get close to people, but Cas isn't stupid. He knows the stakes, he knows what he'd be getting into and he still wants to be with you,"

"Well what am I supposed to do Sammy? Go to his room and confess all these lovey dovey feelings for him?"

"Sure, something like that,"

Dean groans because this is totally not what he wanted to happen once he'd rescued Cas. He just wishes that Sam would drop it and the three of them could go on awkwardly with life like they usually do. But of course, his little brother holds no such notions and Dean can tell that Sam won't let this go until things are settled. So he promises to talk to Cas in the morning, which will have to be good enough for Sam and heads off to bed.

However, sleep is the last thing that happens, since he can't seem to get his mind to calm down enough to allow him some rest. He just lies there, staring up at the ceiling of his room, thoughts in a mess over the fact that his best friend loves him. He wishes that he and Cas didn't share this 'profound bond' or whatever it was, because it would make it easier to just tell the guy that there was nothing between them and that would be that. Unfortunately, they do share a bond, and he doesn't have the heart to look in those bright blue eyes and tell Cas that he doesn't feel _something_ for the fallen angel. After all, not only would it be cruel, but it'd also be a lie.

He groans again, palms pressing into his forehead, wishing that he knew what to do. He may not be one for chick flick moments, but he thinks that it'd be a lot easier than sitting here agonizing over the whole thing. He gazes in the direction of Cas' room and wonders what he's thinking about. Maybe he's dreaming about that perfect life he's always wanted or maybe he's sitting in his room crying again, which either way, Dean feels bad about it because he can't do anything to help. _Stupid Sam_, he thinks. Because this is totally Sam's fault for guilt tripping him and making him question his feelings for Cas.

The next day, the two don't see Cas until well into the afternoon. He suspects from the messy bedhead and wrinkled clothing that Cas was probably sleeping. The ex-angel stretches and mumbles a greeting as he passes by to the kitchen to get some food.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty, finally decided to join the land of the living?" Dean comments, just because Cas sleeping in for so long isn't something that normally happens.

However, apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Cas freezes in place and gives Dean this look that makes him wish he would just keep his mouth shut sometimes. It's not an angry look, rather, it's this sad, lost look that makes Dean want rewind the moment and not say it, even if he doesn't understand why it affects Cas so much.

Before he can utter an apology, Cas returns to making his very late breakfast and deigns not to speak to either of them for seemingly the whole time he's in their presence. Sam gives Dean a look and with a reluctant sigh, Dean is the one to break the awkward silence permeating the air.

"So, uh, sleep well?" he asks, at a loss of what else to say.

"Yes, thank you for asking Dean," Cas replies mechanically, voice not betraying whatever he's thinking or feeling at the moment.

Dean stands there, trying to think of something else to say, when finally he says, "I was thinking that we need to make a supply run soon. Do you wanna come with me?" which isn't entirely a lie.

Cas shrugs, something he's picked up from Sam and Dean, before replying with a mumbled, "I suppose,"

"Great, so I guess we'll go when you're ready. You good to man the bat cave while we're gone Sammy?"

Sam nods. "Of course,"

Later, with fake credit cards in tow, the two depart the bunker. Dean stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets once he steps out because it's getting colder now and for just a moment, he wonders if it will snow. Cas doesn't seem to be affected by the temperature, at least not in any way Dean can see, and they climb into the Impala and drive off to the nearest store.

Dean smiles and greets the young woman at the door to the convenience store, taking slight notice in the way her uniform compliments her figure before refocusing and heading off towards the food department.

"Okay, first things first. Pie. They better have some of the good stuff around here," he says to Cas as they peruse the selection at the bakery.

"I don't think that a healthy diet consists solely of pie, Dean," Cas comments.

"Hey don't worry, I'll get other stuff too. Besides, we burn it all off hunting anyway,"

After deliberating over the ultimate decision (which pie to get?), they head off in search of other foods. Dean remembers to pick up somewhat healthy food for Sam, since, the last time he came back with only 'junk food' as his brother called it, he'd received one of those bitch faces that Sam seemed to pull off so well.

On the way to the checkout, they pass the clothing section. There's a crap ton of ugly Christmas sweaters already out even though it's not even Thanksgiving yet and racks of coats. He's about to just go, when something catches his eye. Cas doesn't seem to see it and keeps on walking until Dean yanks him back and points.

"Hey, we should see if they've got your size," he says.

"Dean, that's not necessary. I am perfectly content with my clothing at the moment," he replies.

"Oh come on, humor me,"

"….Fine,"

They head over and Dean shifts through each size of the tan over coats that the store has. Just looking, he can't really tell what size Cas should get, so after some awkward fumbling to check the size of the coat Cas is currently wearing, he's able to find the right fit. He tells Cas to try the coat on and smiles when it's a perfect fit.

"Just like old times, eh Cas?" he laughs.

Despite all that's been going on, Cas smiles, just a little bit and they end up buying the coat too. After all, it's not like they have a budget or anything, what with the fake cards and all.

When they get to the checkout, Cas seems to have relaxed more and he even laughs at Dean's bad jokes. Once it's their turn, Dean realizes that Cas is still wearing the trench coat, so he helps him take it off so they can pay for it. The cashier smiles at them as she runs their card and when she hands it back, she leans in to whisper as though she has some big secret.

"You guys are so cute together," she says.

Dean and Cas exchange a look before they both stammer out, "No, we're not a couple. Not together. At all,"

She simply nods and replies with, "Don't worry, I can keep a secret," and hands them their bags.

Dean sighs and doesn't bother correcting her further, taking their bags and getting the heck out of there. Cas follows behind, awkwardly silent again and Dean wishes that she hadn't said anything so they could carry on with their bad jokes and semi-comfortableness.

"Some people can't take a hint, huh?" he manages after they leave.

Cas shrugs, preferring to stay quiet.

A cold breeze whips around them, making the plastic grocery bags rustle and making a windblown mess of Cas' already messy hair. His friend shivers this time, stuffing the one hand not holding a bag into the pocket of his coat. Dean knows that it's not in Cas' nature to complain about the weather, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect him, so he pulls out the new trench coat and wraps it around him, holding him close for a second before letting go.

"Thank you," Cas says.

"Yeah, well can't have you turning into a popsicle now can I?"

"I don't think it's possible to-,"

"Joking,"

"Oh,"

Dean watches Cas do that cute head tilt thing that he does when he's confused and _wait, cute?_ he thinks. Since when did he think that his friend was cute? _Pretty much since you met him_, part of him answers, which he tells to shut up and wow he needs to get out more if he's resorting to arguing with himself. And it definitely doesn't help matters any when Cas keeps giving him that confused look.

"Are you okay Dean?"

"Huh? Yeah, course,"

"You seem distracted,"

_Probably cause your freakin adorable face is making it really hard to focus on anything else,_ he thinks.

"Uh…," Cas says, a slight pink tint to his cheeks, although that could just be the cold and _crap_ did he just say that out loud?

"Um, we should, uh, go. Get outta the cold, you know," he stammers out, retreating to the Impala and not giving Cas any choice but to follow.

The drive back is made in silence. Cas makes a point of not talking and stares out the window, allowing Dean to gather his thoughts. The thing is, Dean isn't opposed to getting with Cas. It's the fact that every time he starts to get involved with people they die or he has to leave them. Either way, bottom line is, most of his relationships go south once they start and he doesn't want that to happen with Cas. Not only would it possibly ruin their friendship, should it not work out, but he doesn't know if he'll be able to handle Cas dying. Again. The only difference this time is that he won't be brought back by God or any angels since there's not one on earth that would currently want to help them. He'd be dead for good and losing him would be like losing Sam and that is simply unacceptable.

However, Sam was right. Cas maybe be oblivious to some things, but he's not stupid. He's stuck by them for almost five years now and he knows how hellish their lives can get. He wouldn't be one of Dean's old girlfriends who didn't even know monsters existed until he saved their life from one. He can handle himself on a hunt and even helps Sam and Dean out with their extensive research.

Kevin and Charlie seem to be fond of him and in fact, Charlie, as annoying as it is, has been pestering Dean for like, ever, to get with Cas. Of course, he keeps telling her to stick to her little fanfiction stories on the internet, but if Charlie is anything, she is definitely persistent. 'Just give it a chance', she had said. And he waved her off, saying that he and Cas were only friends and she had replied with 'Yeah and I'm a giant three headed purple panda,'

Part of him wonders though, would it be so bad? Give it a chance, Charlie had said, and thinking about it now, maybe it's not such a terrible idea as he thought it was. He glances over at Cas, who is busy doodling in the condensed fog on the car window like a little kid and thinks _what the heck, why not?_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So it's the end now! This is pretty short, kinda like an epilogue-y thing, but yeah. Hope you've enjoyed the ride :D **

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"I don't understand, what is the point of this?" Castiel asks as he watches Dean lying down in the snow.

"It's supposed to be fun! You lie down and move your arms and legs like this, and then bam, snow angel!" he says, demonstrating.

"That is not an accurate representation of an angel, Dean," he says, although he can't keep the grin off his face.

"Man, you always gotta ruin the fun," Dean says, but there's only playfulness behind his words. He stands up and before Castiel can react, tackles him to the ground. The fluffy snow softens the fall and Dean gets up and brushes himself off, looking at Castiel and saying, "Try it!"

"Dean, this is ridiculous," he protests.

"So?"

"Ugh, fine," Castiel concedes.

He feels really rather foolish and uncoordinated, lying here and moving his arms and legs like Dean had shown him, but it's worth it to see the hunter doubled over in laughter. After a moment, he pushes himself up and inspects his handiwork. It doesn't look like Dean's, probably due to the other imprints in the snow that were made when Dean tackled him, but he supposes that he could see it. Maybe. If he tilted his head a little and squinted.

"Good enough," Dean says, still laughing, "Come on, let's go inside, it's freezing out here,"

He takes Castiel's hand and they head back into the bunker. Initially they'd only been out here to shovel a path to the door, since snow had been piling up more and more over the course of the season. Of course, Dean got a little distracted when he saw that the snow was the perfect kind for making snow angels.

"Having fun, you two?" Charlie asks upon their entrance.

"Totally," Dean replies.

"Uh, why are you all covered in snow? I thought you were out there shoveling," Kevin asks as he enters the room.

"We were, but Dean decided to show me how to make snow angels," Castiel answers.

"Awww!" Charlie exclaims, smiling big at the two of them. Sam, who is sitting in front of his laptop, just rolls his eyes and smiles at them, happy that his brother is happy.

It's been almost a month since Dean finally asked Castiel out. Well, more like stammered out a 'Cas I think we could work and if you still want to I'd be more than happy to get with you' like it was all one word, but he got the point. His response had been to hug Dean very tightly and laugh like he hasn't in who knows how long.

Dean wanted to take it slow, which was totally fine with Castiel, as long as they were together, he didn't care. His things from his room in the bunker have slowly migrated to Dean's room and they sleep snuggled together under the blankets.

Their life isn't like it was when he was under the djinn's power, but it doesn't matter to him. Dean teaches him how to shoot for when they go on hunts and trains with him, building up his strength from what it was when he first became human. He even tries to teach Castiel to drive, which he isn't too bad at. At least they haven't ended up in a ditch somewhere, which Dean considers an accomplishment.

It's the little things that Castiel enjoys in their relationship. When they go on supply runs, Dean isn't afraid to hold his hand in public. They see that cashier again one time and she grins, telling them that she's happy for them. He loves how Dean will sometimes kiss his cheek or the top of his head, just for the heck of it, when they're sitting together on the couch watching a movie. When it's cold out, Dean wraps an arm around him and keeps him close, warming him up almost immediately with his proximity.

They're still standing in the entrance to the bunker and Dean reaches over to brush snow out of Castiel's hair, hand trailing down and lingering on his cheek. Castiel smiles and Dean can't help but lean forward and capture those lips in a kiss. The fallen angel's heart beats faster and he kisses back happily, arms wrapping around Dean's waist and pulling them closer.

When they pull apart, Castiel rests his forehead against Dean's. He looks into bright green eyes and even if he's not an angel anymore, he imagines that he can see Dean's beautiful, brilliant soul shining inside him. He feels the words welling up inside him and he doesn't try to stop them as they leave his mouth.

"I love you," he says. He thinks it's adorable how Dean still blushes every time he says it.

"I love you too, Cas," he replies shyly.

"Oh my gosh, I cannot with you two. You guys are so freaking cute," Charlie nearly squeals, taking out her phone and snapping a picture. 'To remember the good times', she had said when she first took a picture of them.

Their moment in the foyer doesn't last forever and Sam eventually informs them that they have a case. Dean takes Castiel's hand and they head over to where the others are gathering around the table. It's not an apple pie life, but it's more than he could have wished for.

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**Even outside the context of this fic, I feel like Charlie would be the one who would fangirl over Sam and Dean and be the resident shipper in the bunker. Just saying. XD**


End file.
